Written by: Ronnie Prado
Humans need other humans to survive. As social beings we crave companionship, someone to hang out with, wake up next to. In short, everyone wants someone to love. Which is what making the end of a relationship and the ensuing heartbreak so painful. Everyone has their coping mechanism: you scream, cry, eat six pints of Ben and Jerrys…anything to numb that sinking feeling in your heart. Myself I have a process, an extremely destructive process, but a process, nonetheless. First, I get a tattoo, there’s something about the endless gnawing feeling the pit of your stomach which makes having someone jab a needle in your arm for three hours sound amazing. Next, I pick up a new unhealthy addiction, last time it was smoking. Finally, I completely erase the person from my life, throw out every picture, give away all the gifts they gave me, block all their socials, avoid them at all costs.
Now I’m not saying that if you’re hurting from a breakup, you should try my method, in fact, DO NOT TRY MY METHOD! It’s unhealthy, I’ll be the first to admit that. However, there is one healthy way of dealing with bigger than life emotions, which I have always found helpful during breakups: music. The right song at the right time can numb even the greatest pain so here I offer a list of five songs to help you through a breakup.
1. “BCKYRD”-Hot Mulligan
Hot Mulligan’s 2020 release is perfect for letting go of that excess anger you have to repress in public. According to lead singer Nathan “Tades” Sanville, the song is about how when how his parents used to tell him that things would get better in the future whenever he asked about his families struggles, and how they only ever got worse. This song is perfect for people getting out of relationships that the people around them labeled as toxic, and who were told that leaving their partner would make them happier but now find themselves heart broken. One line is particularly poignant: “Things don’t get better, just different.” Just because your relationship was bad for you, doesn’t mean that ending it will magically make everything better, often it only hurts in a new way.
2. “If You Can’t Hang”- Sleeping with Sirens
This one’s for all the people who gave up on themselves for their partner or got cheated on. In the song, lead singer Kellin Quinn sings about changing everything about himself and giving all he had to this girl, just for her to cheat on him. The post hardcore mix between soft, lilting verses, loud angry choruses, with intermittent screaming perfectly demonstrates the instability of someone who is forced to feel so many competing emotions at once. However, the song does end on a positive note, talking about how he finally found someone who treats him well. Making the song more about knowing your worth and waiting for someone who will love you as much as you love them, than anything else.
3. “Bad Prescription”-Hospital Bracelet
It’s important to remember that it’s not only the person who gets hurt in the relationship who mourns its end. We are all human and have emotions, so even the toxic one has to deal with the pain of a breakup, and deserves an outlet, even if it was their fault. This song from Chicago’s Hospital Bracelet is about admitting you’re the toxic one. Over the course of the song, listeners hear an evolving chorus which starts out with lead singer Eric Christopher blaming their ex for the end of their relationship the first time it’s played, to beginning to admit that they were partially at fault for what happened the second time, and eventually admitting that they were toxic and have things they need to work on to be better in their next relationship the final time it plays. Sometimes looking at somebody else forces you to understand where you went wrong.
4. “Sleepwalking”-Bring Me the Horizon
This song, which marked the beginning of the bands transition from Death Metal to Metalcore, is perfect for anyone experiencing post breakup numbness. Feeling nothing is not the absence of feeling, often it’s the result of an amalgamation of so many emotions which we cannot process, overwhelming us to such an extent that our body effectively shuts down. True to BMTH’s brand, the song is almost all shouting, but it’s not death metal growls, it’s human the way you would scream out for help if you suddenly found yourself drowning. This human quality of lead singer Oli Sykes’ screams lends an aura of desperation, similar to the desperation for even the briefest moment of relief from the larger-than-life wave of emotions which many newly separated people might feel. Sometimes the only way to let yourself feel again is to know that there is someone out there who feels the same way.
5. “Round Here”-Counting Crows
Sometimes the end of a relationship is not a choice, we’re human, and the one great certainty amongst us all is death. I hope none of you dear readers have the horrible opportunity of losing your partner, but if you have, this is the song for you. Released on Counting Crow’s 1993 studio album August and Everything After, “Round Here” is not a song, it’s an experience. To this day I have no clue what the song is about, and I refuse to look it up, because my interpretation works for me, and I don’t think it’s possible for there to be a better one, even if it’s lead singer Adam Duritz’s. To me the song is about the loss of someone who you loved so deeply you can’t imagine living without them, and the struggle to understand why they were taken from you or how you will overcome it. The song is a lot to unpack, and everyone has their own interpretation, but it listens like a lullaby and trying to sing along is a great way to release some tears that have been weighing on you.
Well, that’s the list, I hope these songs can help you through the rough times. I will leave a link to a Spotify playlist I created for this article below; also, I will be leaving it open to editing so feel free to add some therapeutic songs of your own.
Featured Image Caption: A broken heart held together by a pair of earbuds
